Yesterday during yoga I had an emotional breakdown. Seriously mid pose I just started bawling. Partly because my leg is so fat it gets in the way of some of the poses. I have the same problem with my stomach fat. It prevents me from being able to some things. But I was also upset because yesterday when I weighed in I was up 1 pound.
I honestly don’t understand how I could possible be up. I ate really well all week. I took Kia for walks and did yoga. I just don’t feel like I should have gained weight. I feel like I can’t win. I’m so tired of feeling fat. I’m tired of being obsessed with eating and my weight. I don’t know what to do.
Several hours ago I was ready to give up. I was ready to live a life of fat jeans and tubs of ice cream. But I’ve had some time to think. And the thing is I’m not a quitter. I still really want to lose weight. I want to be normal sized. I want to go a day without think about the size of my ass. I want to buy knee high boots that fit around my calfs.
I realize thats its going to take more than just one week of eating and yoga to change. Tomorrow is new day. Another chance to get it done.