That’s what Blake has started calling me….
Last night I had to run to the store for some spaghetti sauce and some how managed to buy and devour a pack of pop tarts. Although to clarify I ate one of the envelopes not the whole box….Thankfully.
The whole situation felt surreal to me! I can’t even believe I did it. I even left the box in the car so that Blake wouldn’t see the evidence. I immediately confessed as soon as I walked in the door and he made me leave the box on the counter so that he would know if I had another. And I didn’t.
He’s pretty wonderful in that way. He’s very supportive. He knows how much I want to be thin and he tries his best not to let me ruin things. He always reminds me of my goals. I really appreciate him.
The good news is that those two pop tarts didn’t ruin my whole day of calories. I only went over my daily limit by about 100, so thats not the worst day over. The real problem isn’t in eating them, the real problem is how I ate them and how I felt like I needed to hide it. Its that kind of destructive behavior that led me to gain the 25 lbs I lost a few years ago. I used to go thru the McDonalds drive thru and get 2 plain hamburger and literally stuff them in my mouth. Two bites and gone.
I’ve been doing really good at not losing my control. Obviously I’m not going to be perfect every single day, its going to take time to correct the things I’ve been doing for far too long. I’ll just be taking things one step at a time and looking forward to when food doesn’t win.