For the last several days I’ve been thinking about a million things. It’s kinda of hard to organize them coherently, but I’ll give it shot.
I’ve been stuck at 193 lbs for 3 weeks, this is right about the same weight I got stuck at a few years ago when I lost a significant amount of weight. I keep asking myself, what if this is it? What if I never loose another pound? How I feel about that? What would I do differently?
Honestly, I’m starting to be content with the way I look. I have a few areas I’d like to change like my double chin and my belly, but overall I’m satisfied with being this current size. I recently ordered two more pair if size 8 jeans, and as I said before I never thought I would be an 8.
I’m starting to realize that I am healthy. I’m falling in love with working out and I have no desire to end that affair. I love to challenge myself and try something harder, run faster, and do more than yesterday. I’m really excited because last night I bought 10 pound hand weights, I can’t wait to use them today!
My food hangover experience has brought new information to my eyes, and I’ve been contemplating food all the time. I’ve been thinking about different kinds of food and how my body reacts to them. I’ve also been thinking about what I think is right , rather than what this expert or that books says. For example, is it better to eat full fat cheese or low fat cheese? Or sugar free versus sugar. I’ve come to the conclusion that its about how much you eat more than what you eat. More than being key here. A good example here is would diet soda be better than regular. The answer is neither. Soda is bad regardless. I just mean, I’m wondering if its better to have a small amount of regular food vs a larger serving of “diet” food. Like pudding, one serving of pudding is about 150 calories, but sugar free pudding is only 60. A person could eat nearly 3 servings of sugar free pudding and still have had the equivalent amount of calories.
I’ve been doing research and of course there is information to both sides but what I’ve concluded for myself is that regular food is better. The fact is that I eat sugar free foods because I want those foods without the calories. I put sugar free flavors in my coffee because then I can have more coffee. I buy low fat cheese because then I can have half a cup rather than a quarter cup. There is research that says having the full fat and the full calories will leave you satisfied with less, which I can totally understand because healthy fat and protein help you stay full longer.
The thing is there are ways to lower calories naturally. Like using less sugar or swapping oil in a recipe for a mashed banana. I can have an Americano at work rather than a latte and save 100 calories without using anything sugar free or fat free. My mother in law uses the three bite rule, like she will have three bites of brownie and be done. It’s to get the taste and satisfy the craving without going overboard. Of course they need to be regular sized bites, not mouthfuls!
I’ve been thinking in terms of the foreseeable future. I don’t want to make separate meals for me and Blake like I’ve been doing forever. I’m exhausted of trying to lose weight, it’s been my main focus this whole year and its been my life for too many years probably 4 or 5, loosing weight has been all I cared about. I’m ready for a change.
I know this new transition is going to be hard. I want to be healthy and live a healthy life without being so obsessed with my weight. I don’t know exactly what the plan is or how to do it but I know that I’m ready.
I’m going to use this last month of 2012 to help me find my balance and routine so that for once “lose weight” isn’t on my list of goals for the new year!