Well it seems like those changes I made recently are really helping me to live the life I want to live. I feel like I’m finally becoming the kind of person I was meant to be, I’m coming into my own skin.
I feel so confident lately, maybe too confident, but the people closest to me understand how important what I’m doing is to me. My husband always humors me when I flex my muscles. Today he even said I’m never allowed to try and bench press him. Although, he wouldn’t let me go shopping in a store that was having a close-out sale yesterday, I tried to him tell that I would have never fit in those clothes before but he ignored me. My best friend is my personal cheerleader, seriously I can always count on her to give me a virtual high-five (Are high fives back?) or congratulations text. Or friends that read my blog and leave me cheerful, “you can do it” comments. Its such a relief to have people to count on while I’m working toward my goals. I haven’t always had people to count on.
This week, I feel like I made some huge strides in my quest to live healthy and hopefully lose a few more pounds although I’m finding that to be less and less important lately. The last few weekends we’ve had dinner out with friends and family. Last weekend, I had a girls night at Olive Garden, and yesterday we went to Applebee’s with my in laws. In the past, I would have obsessed about figuring out the calories of each meal and made sure to pick something off the light menu, and then worried my self sick over what I picked…and made a lovely dinner out my personal nightmare. I’m finding out that I need to relax. I won’t gain back the 28 pounds I’ve lost this year because I indulged in one meal at Applebee’s. Instead of having a personal but silent meltdown, I looked over the menu and chose what sounded good to me. I didn’t force myself to narrow it down to the light menu or salads. I ended up getting the Southwest Shrimp Fettuccine, but I only ate half of it. I stopped halfway through because I was full. Not because I was worried about calories or felt guilty, but because I was full. That’s a big deal.
As a kid my mom would take us to this little buffet place in town and every single time I would be in the bathroom puking before we left because I ate too much, way too fast. Believe it or not even after I puked, I’d go back for more food. I can’t even explain why I did this, except that I was a kid but still, I knew better. I could share way too many stories of the horror of my eating as a child. Its safe to say I’ve been battling this overeating thing for a long time, but finally I’m getting the hang of it.
The change to “real” food had been a welcome one. Its a lot less stressful to find something to eat now. I don’t worry about the fat or whether its sugar free or not. I didn’t expect to feel so relieved when I made this decision. Its only been two weeks so I don’t have anything too amazing to share but its definitely making a difference in my eating. I have realized that even though I’m using more calories on drinks I make at work, I haven’t felt deprived of other food.
As far as my workouts go this week I did a DVD in my living room every weekday and I had yoga on Monday and Wednesday. My schedule looked like this:
Monday: No More Trouble Zones DVD & Yoga class
Tuesday: Extreme Shed & Shred DVD
Wednesday: Zumba, YouTube videos & Yoga class
Thursday: Bob Harper’s Total Body Transformation DVD
Friday: Bob Harper’s Cardio DVD
I have a lot to say about those new Bob DVDs but I’m waiting until I tried them a few more times. Sunday and Saturday were rest days but both of those days were spent walking around Costco hunting for the good samples, like cream puffs.
All in all, this was a good week. I lost a total of 2.2 pounds this week which I am pretty damn happy about. It helps to have hit several big milestones recently, 25 pounds lost, no longer considered obese by the BMI Scale and reaching the 180s. Those are the kind of things that motivate and inspire me, and the reason that there is a small slice of Tiramisu in fridge that I will not eat tonight.
Its such a relief to finally feel like I know what I’m doing now. Feels like it took me all year to find what works for me, but now that I have I know anything is possible. I will not fail. That makes all the difference. It makes everyday a new possibility.