The last few weeks have been tough.
I just feel off. I don’t want to say I’m unhappy, because I’m not. I have a wonderful life with an amazing husband, and a job that I enjoy. I just feel like something is wrong. I didn’t even really admit it to myself until yesterday. The truth is its been a long time since I felt like myself. In fact, I have another post from July 25th along the same line as this one, but I never hit publish. Its been longer than that.
There’s so many things that feel wrong. I’m not sleeping very well. I can’t fall asleep. I can’t stay asleep. I can’t wake up in the mornings. My workouts have been spotty… ok nearly, non-existent. I’ve let way too much time go between workouts, where it feels like I’m starting over. I’m not eating healthy meals consistently. I’ll have great days full of fruits and veggies, and the next day I polish off half a bag cheese filled soft pretzels.
I know that a lot of things change because of the baby growing. Its tough on the body. Hormones cause wacky things, but I feel like this is something more. This is just something that happens to me from time to time. I have a long background of dealing with depression and its something that has always been an issue in my family. I know that I could be on medication, and there is nothing wrong with needing medication. My mom is an amazing woman, but she has to have an anti-depressant and with good reason. Personally, I just don’t like medication, for any reason. I also have a hard time remembering to take it.
I know this post is kind of random, especially since its been two weeks since my last post. Plus it doesn’t make a lot of sense, but I needed to write it. I needed to get things out.
I’m working on fixing myself. I’ve worked out the last two days, they’ve been short workouts, but short is better than nothing.
I know there is a lot of room for improvement, I’m just trying to figure out the steps to take right now.
I’m really hoping to find myself blogging regularly again. Just stick with me!